Uochan's Solution
by Tairi Soraryu
Summary: What if Uotani Arisa discovers the secret guarded so carefully by the Soumas? And what is it that she can do to break the curse that Tooru can't?
1. Discovery

Disclaimer: I don't own the title "Fruits Basket" nor any of the characters within. The idea is my own, however; stealing is not permitted, and is punishable by death by torture.

**Uo-chan's Solution**

**Chapter One:  
****Discovery**

* * *

"Shit."

Kyou wished he could shrivel up and die—or at least disappear. Uotani Arisa stared down at him in utter shock, the breeze blowing through the school yard ruffling her long blond hair, shading her eyes from view. Behind him he heard Yuki's similarly muttered oath and Tooru's shocked gasp, and he closed his eyes, waiting for what would come.

"Whoa. I always _knew_ you were weird, but..." Uotani frowned down at him, crouching down so she could look at him closer. Kyou tried to shrink back from her scrutiny without looking too obvious. Suddenly she burst into loud, raucous laughter, sitting down with a 'thump' and wrapping her arms around her middle to quell the mirth that shook her body. "This takes the meaning of 'nekozuki' to a whole new level!"

Hanajima—a large, black-clad shape in Kyou's vision—loomed overhead before she too knelt to peer at Kyou. One black-gloved hand descended gently to caress his head as she would a common house pet, and Kyou swiped angrily at her hand. "Don't touch me!"

His rude snarl seemed to break Yuki and Tooru's stunned stillness, and they both rushed up to his defense—or, at least, to cover up the awkward situation.

"Uo-chan! Hana-chan!" Tooru was frantic, her eyes dashing from Kyou's small, orange-furred figure to Uotani, rolling back and forth on the ground in delight. Hanajima, too, was smiling as she straightened, allowing Tooru space to pick both Kyou and his clothes off the ground. Kyou protested the movement, but a single glance from Yuki quelled his struggles—it was better to be held by Tooru than risk changing back into human form in front of her friends.

Though Yuki's movements and voice were calm as usual, Kyou caught the anxious flicker in the depths of his normally placid eyes. "It seems," he said philosophically, "as if our troubles have increased."

Uotani sat up and glared at him. "Oi! Are you saying I'm a 'trouble', Ouji-sama? Eh?" Her challenge had Tooru stammering again in a futile attempt to calm her friend, and Yuki smiled blandly.

"Of course not, Uotani-san," he reassured her, watching as she subsided and, standing, brushed grass off her skirt. "It's just...This isn't something we want people to find out about, of course."

"Which wouldn't have happened if _you_ hadn't been so insistent about taking my damn juuzu," Kyou snarled bad-temperedly from his seat in Tooru's arms. Uotani lifted her fist, but hesitated at the sight of Tooru's face staring earnestly back at her. The plea was obvious and, with a disgruntled sigh, Uotani let her hand drop back to her side.

With a careless shrug, she said, "Well, it's been found out. And apparently—" she slanted a pointed look at Tooru "—_s__ome_ of us already knew about this. This...whatever it is." She waved a hand in the air for explanation. "So what's it all about, anyway? You all cat people or something?"

"_I'm not a cat!_"

Yuki's denial was instantaneous and rather vehement; the intensity of his statement caused Uotani to take a step back in shock. "Wow," she muttered, rubbing a hand over the back of her neck in embarrassment and awe. "Didn't think you had it in you, Ouji-sama. That was pretty impressive." Changing the subject, she asked, "So, what are you, then? A dog? A kangaroo? A flower?"

_Flower?_ Yuki's thoughts were sour. _Is that how _everyone _perceives me? A flower?_

He coughed and said, "I'm the rat. The Souma family...We're cursed, you see. Twelve of us—thirteen, including _him_," he jerked his head in Kyou's direction, "turn into the Juunishi animals. Shigure is the dog, Haru's the cow, and Momiji is the rabbit. We change into our animal forms when our bodies are weakened due to the weather or sickness, or when we come into close physical contact with a 'normal' member of the opposite sex."

Hanajima's sigh was loud and suspicious, drawing all attention to her. She offered a small half-smile that was nearly as scary as her normal denpa-aura. "I'm relieved," she said simply. "I was afraid that Tooru-kun had become...violated...during her stay at your house."

While both Kyou and Yuki spluttered in wordless shock at the insinuations of her statement, Tooru continued the story, seemingly oblivious to Hanajima's words—or their meaning, at the very least. "The changing into animals is a Souma family secret...I found out by accident, much the way Uo-chan did, the summer of our first year of high school. Akito-san, the head of the family, decided it was okay for me to know about their...situation...But nobody else was supposed to know."

Uotani crossed her arms across her chest, snickering as she cast another glance at the irate Kyou. "So, what do you do if people _do_ find out about it? I mean, other than Tooru." Her smile at the shorter girl was pure affection.

Yuki's voice was low as he glanced across the empty yard. All the other students, and most of the faculty by this time, had already left to enjoy the special three-day weekend, and the school seemed empty and bare in the silence. "Hatori, the family doctor and the dragon, has...this talent, you could call it...He can erase people's memories." His eyes were wide with fear for their safety as he lifted his gaze to theirs and whispered, "He'll make you forget that this ever happened."

Hanajima's smile was humorless, a poisonous snake anticipating a juicy meal. "Oh? Has he ever tried this on a denpa-user?" Yuki shuddered mentally at the image of Hatori trying to take on this formidable opponent.

Tooru interrupted hastily. "Ano...In any case! We should go somewhere more private where we can talk without worrying about eavesdroppers." She glanced around the yard, then down at Kyou who was crouched sullenly in her embrace. "And so Kyou-kun can, um, change back."

Laughter once more rang across the stillness, and Kyou shifted a narrow-eyed look at the tall former gang member. Uotani was doubled over, gasping between chuckles, "And...this 'changing back'...occurs when?"

Guessing at the source of Uotani's humor—the reason why Tooru didn't want Kyou to change back human was as obvious as his clothes draped over her arm—Yuki replied tensely, "The time interval varies, but we can't change back if we're still...in contact...with a member of the opposite sex."

"Well then," Hanajima murmured suavely, "shall we go?"

"Go where?" Uotani nonetheless fell into step beside her dark-garbed friend, arms slung behind her head as she took a deep breath. "Wow, that was amusing. Where are we going?"

Hanajima glanced over her shoulder at where Yuki and Tooru were still standing, motionless. "To the Souma's house, of course. I would like to see how their cousin reacts to the news that we have found out their secret."

* * *

10.17.04

NOTES: I actually wrote this one earlier, and I can't promise I'll have the fortitude of character to see it through to the end. It's based on a random idea I had about Uotani, well, finding out! I only planned it to be one part, really, but it sort of took off on its own...We'll see how it ends up, ne?


	2. Mikanchan!

Disclaimer: Not mine. I wish, but not mine.

**Uo-chan's Solution**

**Chapter Two:  
****Mikan-chan!**

* * *

"Hanajima-san," Yuki protested, trailing her down the street. "Hanajima-san, I really don't think that's a good idea...If Shigure learns that you know, then he'll probably tell Hatori and Akito, and then you'll surely lose your memories..."

Uotani smirked. "Well then, we'll just have to find out again, won't we?" The glance she slanted Tooru clearly indicated that, in that event, she expected Tooru to play a role in 'assisting' in their rediscovery. "What's a few minutes lost from the afternoon, anyway?"

Still hunched in Tooru's arms, Kyou muttered, "You obviously haven't met Akito yet, _yankee_. He'll get to you soon enough."

"Oh?" She turned her smirk to him. "Is the little kitten _scared_?" He bristled, spitting in response, but knew that protest was useless. Uotani wasn't really listening for an answer, and it was, after all, the truth. The scared part. Not the kitten.

Yuki was more willing to explain aloud what was troubling them both. "Uotani-san...Akito can get very angry...and very violent. He's attacked all of us—all of us zodiac-cursed Soumas—at one point or another, and nearly killed one of our friends by shoving her out of a second-story window. And he...he hurt Honda-san." Yuki ducked his head in shame. He hadn't been there to protect her, hadn't had the foresight to see that Akito might take out his anger on her...

"Ba—ka," Uotani drawled even as she slung a protective arm around Tooru's shoulders and squeezed reassuringly. "Tooru's strong, yeah? No damn Souma can keep her down for long." Tooru smiled brightly up at her friend, and Kyou rolled his eyes, catching Yuki's expression of disbelief. For one small moment, they were in agreement.

Coughing, Yuki said, "Moreover, Uotani-san...We're worried about ourselves. If Akito finds out that we were careless, somehow, about not keeping far enough away from 'normal' people, he might decide to take out his revenge on one of us—any one of us—or even on Honda-san..."

And the idea that Akito would do that made his blood run cold.

"Is that so?" Hanajima's comment was idle, a distant murmur. "I think I might like to meet this...Akito..."

Kyou sneezed in an attempt to laugh, a trait most cats were not endowed with. "Yeah, I'd like to see that happen," he grumbled. Then again, he mused, if anyone could stop that tormenting bastard, it'd have to be Hanajima...

Tooru glanced at the grocery store as they passed. "Ano..." Yuki stopped and looked at her as she hesitated, blushing endearingly. "I don't wish to cause a problem or be an inconvenience, but...If we're already here anyway, I thought, that maybe...I could..." She gestured with one hand at the supermarket. "I'd need to come back for tonight's groceries, anyway, but maybe it's too much of an imposition..."

Uotani beamed at her. "Good idea! We'll have a cooking party!" _Not that either Hanajima or I cook much..._She added silently, but merely shrugged that thought aside. No matter. "Let's go!" She reached for Tooru's hand and was surprised when her fragile friend shook her head. "What's the matter?"

Looking down at Kyou, Tooru fidgeted nervously. "Well...we can't just leave Kyou-kun out here on his own...There are too many people around...And we can't take Kyou-kun into the supermarket with us, either..."

A moment of silence passed among the five, and then Uotani sighed gustily in disgust. "You're kidding." Tooru blinked, surprised at Uotani's statement when she hadn't yet said anything. "All right, all right, I got it. I'll do it." Uotani stuck out her arms. "Hand 'im over. And no scratching," she ordered Kyou as he unwillingly let a grateful Tooru dump him into Uotani's arms and hurry into the store with Hanajima and Yuki following.

"...This is disturbing," he finally managed to say when he felt his voice wouldn't crack.

"I'll say," Uotani snapped back, keeping her eyes fixedly on the store across the road and trying not to feel like a moron for standing on the corner, a bright orange cat in her arms, carrying on a conversation with 'no one', as far as anyone else could tell. "The sooner Tooru's done shopping, the happier I'll be."

"You're one to talk," Kyou retorted sourly. "I feel like a fool."

She rolled her eyes, shifting so she could drape his pants over her shoulder. "You _look_ like a foo—"

"Mommy! Mommy!" A little girl came hurrying up the street, tugging on the hand of her laughing mother. "Look, a kitty cat!" She gazed up adoringly at Kyou, addressing Uotani. "May I please pet your kitty cat?"

Uotani and Kyou exchanged a glance, and then, grinning, Uotani crouched down so the short child could reach. "Sure, 'jou-chan," she said, stifling her snickers as, resigned, Kyou purred as the little girl stroked his shoulders. "His name is Mikan."

The little girl chortled in delight, scratching under Kyou's chin. "Mikan-chan!" She whispered, stepping back and smiling up at Uotani. "Thank you for letting me pet your cat, Oneechan," she said politely. "He's very cute." Then she turned and followed her mother down the street.

Uotani grinned down at Kyou, mimicking the girl's young voice. "Mikan-chan! You're so cute!"

"Shut up," he growled, glowering at the ground. "I hate this."

There was silence, and then Uotani asked seriously, "Hey. So, why are you guys cursed, anyway? What'd you do?"

"How 'm I supposed to know that?" Kyou snarled ill-temperedly. "The Soumas have just _always_ been cursed. There's just always one of every Juunishi living. If I were to die, some other undeserving sucker would be born the cat."

"...How..." Uotani blinked in embarrassment as he twisted his head to look at her questioningly. "How do you, you know...have kids?"

Kyou hastily looked away. "We can if we're, you know, involved with another Juunishi. We don't change if it's one of them hugging us or whatever."

She smirked. "'Or whatever' is right, Kyon. You don't have children by 'hugging'."

"Shut up," he hissed angrily, remembering just in time not to raise his voice and attract attention from the other pedestrians. "There are a lot of Soumas who aren't cursed, you know. _They_ don't have problems having children."

Uotani grinned maliciously. "And you would know that...how?"

Kyou's claws curved into her arm, and she yelped in pain. "Uo-chan?" Tooru's worried exclamation had Uotani turning to find Tooru rushing over from the store, Hanajima and Yuki in her wake, burdened down by packages. "Are you all right?"

Kyou snarled in annoyance but released his grip on her arm. Uotani smiled disarmingly. "Of course, Tooru," she said, turning to head down the street so Tooru couldn't see her give Kyou's tail one sharp yank. "I must have stepped on something. Let's go, I'm hungry!"

* * *

10.17.04

NOTES: All right, part two! After this, we're off to Shigure's. We're getting quickly to Uotani's idea of a "solution" to the Souma curse...


	3. Pentagrams

Disclaimer: I own your soul. (_yes. yours._) I do not, however, own Furuba.

**Uo-chan's Solution

* * *

**

**Chapter Three: Pentagrams**

Shigure's house was dark and quiet when they arrived; silence greeted Tooru's cheerful "We're home _desu_!" A quick check around the grounds confirmed the house's emptiness.

"Hm, odd," Yuki murmured as he helped Hanajima load the groceries into the fridge. "Shigure must have gone out. He usually tells us, first."

Kyou, still in his cat form, still the unwilling prisoner of Uotani's hold, twitched his sore tail irritably as he drawled, "Maybe Akito caught a deadly virus and is even as we speak dying a slow, painful death, and Shigure had to go stand watch by his bed. I'll miss him, the poor bastard."

Yuki lifted an eyebrow, unable to miss the opportunity to take a jab at Kyou even if he did secretly hope what Kyou had said was true. "You'll miss Shigure?"

"WRONG!" Kyou yelled, fur standing on end as he spat angrily across the kitchen floor. "I'll kill you!"

Ignoring Kyou's standard response, Yuki said to Uotani, "Uotani-san, you can go put Kyou somewhere else so he can change back. I feel bad beating him when he's all fuzzy and cuddly and helpless." He smiled demeaningly at Kyou, who snarled back but scampered off when Uotani bent down to let him go.

Tooru had tied an apron over her school uniform and was already washing the vegetables to prepare for the evening meal. "Hana-chan," she directed, "could you please go into the far cabinet and take out the large pot? I'll make oyako donburi tonight since there are so many of us. It'll be easy to make."

Uotani leaned one shoulder against the wall, eyeing Yuki as he measured out the rice. "And what are you going to do about this whole Juunishi-animal-hugging thing? Pray?"

"Praying doesn't help," Yuki sighed despondently, casting a glance at Tooru. He kept his voice low so Tooru wouldn't overhear their conversation. "Look, Uotani-san. There's nothing we can do about it. We're just destined to be miserable and lonely all our lives. Please, don't talk to Honda-san about this. I don't want her to think that she's not doing enough…Believe me, she's done more than enough for us already."

"You think this is your fate?" Uotani repeated, incredulous. "Ouji-sama, I never took you to be such a fatalist." She spread her arms. "Look at me. Do you think I was 'fated' to stay a gang member all my life? I met Tooru and her mom, and my entire life changed around." She poked a finger at his chest. "Don't tell me you didn't change any because Tooru was here. You just have to do something about it."

"Arisa is right," Hanajima murmured placidly, appearing out of seemingly nowhere to startle Yuki. He nearly jumped in surprise as she materialized beside Uotani to look at him squarely in the face, but barely managed to quell the instinctive reaction. "You just need to deal with your…problems…and get over them. Tooru-kun is very kind at helping others with their problems."

Yuki cast a glance at Tooru, obliviously peeling carrots. "Shh!" he warned. "Please, I don't want to worry Honda-san. Even if I were to try to solve this 'problem', I wouldn't be able to do anything. We've tried, and all we get is beaten by Akito for our troubles. It's better if we just accept this as our future and our lives, and try to move on."

"Keh." Uotani snorted in derision, turning as Kyou entered the kitchen, fully dressed and fully human. He glared at her, rubbing at the base of his spine where her yank had lingering effects.

A broad grin spread across Uotani's face as she snapped her fingers. "I got it!" Turning back to a confused Yuki with an exultant expression on her face, she said, "You guys are so fatalistic and pessimistic, it's making me sick. You talk about being lonely and isolated for the rest of your lives…You were both probably 'isolated' as kids, weren't you?" There were reluctant nods from both of them.

"What you need…" Uotani again threw her arms out and rushed a startled, yelping Kyou. "What you need is to _get used to girls_!"

He couldn't dodge fast enough; the blond-haired girl lunged at him, wrapping her arms tightly around his chest.

_Poof!_

"**_I HATE YOU!_**" Kyou, furious, spluttered as he squirmed violently out of her lingering embrace. Uotani tossed him away as he brandished his claws menacingly at her; landing on all fours on the kitchen floor, bristling, Kyou snarled, "Would you _stop that_ already? You _know_ what a cat looks like! You already _know_ what's gonna happen when I get hugged! Isn't that good enough!"

Uotani lifted one eyebrow, unperturbed—and seemingly unfazed by the fact that she was arguing with a cat. "And who said I was merely hugging you to see what you looked like as a fuzzy orange kitten, eh, smart one?" Kyou growled, and her smirk widened infuriatingly. "You see," she explained patiently, "it's obvious that you just need to have practice."

Yuki interjected, his face a slight pink. In the background, Tooru paused in rinsing her hands, casting her friends a confused glance. "Um, Uotani-san…" Yuki looked vaguely uncomfortable with the direction of the conversation. "What exactly do you mean by 'practice'? And what is it that you think we need to 'practice'?"

Hanajima replied placidly, "Hm, wouldn't you just like to know?"

Yuki flushed in response, and Tooru asked innocently, "Ano, what are we doing? Uo-chan, is something the matter?"

Uotani shook her head. "Not at all, Tooru," she reassured her oblivious friend. "I'm just performing a little experiment over here. You see, Kyon and Ouji-sama just aren't used to girls. And so, obviously, they just have to get over their fear. It's simple, really. And once they're so tired from the whole, you know, changing thing, they'll have to either be one or the other. I'm betting that they're human. I mean, Kyon's rather weird, but he _is_ human, after all."

There was a silence, and Yuki ventured, "Uotani-san…I'm afraid I'm a little…lost. Your logic…it doesn't make sense." They tended to _stay_ in their animal form when they were exhausted or over-exerted. And being embarrassed by females had nothing to do with that being the _reason_ for their transformation. "We—"

Uotani cut him off rudely, a wild gleam in her eye that had even Tooru blinking in something bordering on fear. "You know," she said with a sly glance at Hanajima, "we haven't seen _you_, Ouji-sama." He frowned, confused—he was right there; couldn't they see him while they talked?—before realizing what she meant. Uotani's evil grin spread as she stalked towards him. "Don't think we're letting you off the hook just because we know you're in love with our friend."

"Wha—? That's not tru—I don't—" Yuki's flustered protests died as, with a frightened wail, he dashed to the side. Uotani's flailing arms collided hard with Tooru mid-leap; there was a pained cry, and Uotani hastily apologized to her smaller friend before taking off after the fleeing Yuki into the living room. With another pat to Kyou's head, Hanajima followed calmly.

Tooru looked at Kyou; Kyou looked back at Tooru. Together, they shrugged. "I'm not sure I understand," Tooru admitted worriedly, her head swiveling around at the sound of a large crash from the living room, "but I think I'm afraid for Yuki-kun's safety." There was another crash, and both Tooru and Kyou hurried to the doorway in time to see the coffee table go end-over-end as Uotani leapt over to make another grab for Yuki. He gave a highly un-princely shriek and ducked to the left, only to be tripped by the ever-mysteriously and eerily silent Hanajima. Uotani squeezed him tightly before he hit the ground and—_poof!_—his clothes dropped emptily to the floor.

"Make them stop!" Yuki scowled angrily at the two girls, doubled over in laughter—well, Uotani at any rate, was, while Hanajima contented herself with a secretive smile—from his hiding place behind Tooru's foot. "This is highly unacceptable—"

A second _poof!_ heralded Kyou's return to human form.

If he had wished he could disappear when Uotani first found out about the Souma secret, now he wished he could just melt and drip between the cracks in the floor and die.

"Whoa, no _wonder_ Tooru was so worried about getting 'im away from us before he turned back," Uotani snickered between gasps for air. Kyou slammed the door to the kitchen behind him, shouting something angry-sounding and otherwise unintelligible back at Uotani from the other side.

Hanajima was neatly rearranging the upturned furniture into strange, hexagonal arrangements. "And will the same fate—the untimely returning to human form—occur to Yuki, too?" she inquired serenely, peacefully moving around the slumped form of Uotani on the ground as she turned the coffee table to a thirty-degree angle to the doorway.

Tooru glanced down at the pink-faced mouse hiding behind her ankle. "Ano…well…" He returned her gaze and, without waiting for her consent, scampered to the doorway to the kitchen. Tooru slid the door open enough to let him enter; she was just closing the door when the distinctive _poof!_ sounded, and Uotani dissolved in another wave of hysterics.

There was a long silence as the girls tried to puzzle out what the boys were doing on the other side of the kitchen door in the utter silence that emanated from their direction—and how they planned to get out of the mess. Yuki's clothes, Tooru realized, were still in a pile in the middle of the living room floor. Kyou could get dressed again, of course, but what would they do about Yuki?

"Dammit, I'm not your delivery boy!" Kyou's infuriated yell heralded his re-entry to the living room, and he spun around, suspicious, as the kitchen door slammed shut in his face. He scowled and, keeping a wary eye on the gasping Uotani, crept forward to retrieve Yuki's clothes. Glaring at Tooru, Kyou snapped, "_Do_ something about these two freaks, Tooru, or I swear I'll let Hatori on 'em."

He stomped back towards the kitchen, wrenching open the door and flinging the garments inside. "There you go," he growled, slamming the door shut once more. His narrowed eyes swept back to Uotani. "Give this a rest, would you, _yankee_? It's not going to work. What Yuki the idiot didn't tell you—for reasons that could only possibly include his natural stupidity—was that when we get tired, we stay in animal form. I don't know why, we just do. When we're sick or exhausted or stay out in the rain…" He shrugged. "So just give this up already."

Sighing, Uotani sank to one of the floor cushions scattered on the ground and currently the topmost point of the five-pointed star Hanajima was creating with the furniture. "Sure. Sure." She wrapped her arms around her waist and blew out another long breath, a huge grin spreading across her face. "That was too fun, you guys. I don't know why you do what you do, or what exactly is going on here—this is all a little spooky, wouldn't you say?—but it's rather amusing."

Hanajima lifted one elegant, dark eyebrow and glanced around the mystically-designed room. Her voice was a low murmur, mysterious as smoke.

"I wonder what will happen next?"

And the doorbell rang.

* * *

2.12.05 

NOTES: Chapter Three is done! I'd already written most of it, so I just manipulated it to where I wanted it to go. You'll be glad to hear I've got an outline—yes, an actual _outline_—for this baby, and I'll be busting my butt to honor my promise that I will finish this fic. It'll have a proper ending and everything. I can't say it's the most imaginative ending, but it'll hold when push comes to shove.

The whole Uotani-chasing-Yuki scene just makes me laugh. Could you ever see it really happening?


End file.
